from deviantart - user wyldraven
it’s so sad when i think about how far i am from where i want to be.
how much i need to improve. and how i don’t know how to get there.
hurts even more when i hear it from someone else.
but God created sound. He created color. He created beauty. He created everything and He created me.
Once again. Let my weakness show His strength. I won’t give up.
“For they know not what they do.. Let the cross draw man to you.”
Even as I am so blessed, I find myself falling into temptation.
“Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me”
God is great. we are blessed.
I’ll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I’m powerless
To dictate my own moodsI’ve thrown away
So many things that could’ve been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they’re ignored
But that’s not the way it works
No that’s not the way it worksWhen I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I’ve learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought themIf and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I’ll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I’m so ready to be foundI’ve thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I’ve thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I’ve thrown away
The secret to find an end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they’re ignored
But that’s not the way it works
No that’s not the way it worksAny control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there
I confess
I’ll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet you love me
And that consumes me
And I’ll stand up again
And do so willinglyYou give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear your voice
And I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it’s fallen man’s praise
Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I’m dead and gone
It won’t be further from the truthWhen I go down
I lift my eyes to you
I won’t look very far
Cause you’ll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again
Says what I’m feeling right now so well.
O God. I keep failing. and failing.
I’m tired of people pretending, pretending to be better than they are. Acting like it’s fine when it’s not. Looking down on each other.
Selfishness. Self-righteousness. Judgement. Hatred. Hypocrisy.
Hardened hearts.
I’m not any better, right?
Father why can’t I do it? Why do I feel so tied down. So heavy
Use my weakness to display your strength.
Wedding Dress by Tae Yang
from the MV
Hmm. I dunno if it’s stress getting to me or hunger or something.. but my head and stomach are hurting a bit. I should be doing college apps and working on my calculus notebook and my senior board presentation and whatnot but I felt like posting this instead. Anyway.
Good song. I was getting a little -_-;; by all the facebook statuses I saw about it, but it’s good and the music video’s pretty cool~ I would post it as my facebook status too, but then I’d be the same as the kpop fanboys/girls on Facebook. haha. maybe i will later.
I laughed sooo hard at the part where the dude comes over to them on the couch and pops out of the car. Like “Hey guys!” puahaha.
I liked how you could hear the simple tune of the traditional wedding song.
And I can relate to it. All too well.
I was listening to some Evanescence songs earlier, and now Wedding Dress reminds me of My Immortal. Lyrically, that is.
“You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now, I’m bound by the life you left behind. Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me. These wounds won’t seem to heal, this pain is just too real, There’s just too much that time cannot erase.” by Evanescence – My Immortal
Addictions are strange. Despite the sting, you just keep going. And it takes so long to let go.
photo by Crystal Kim
Hmm.
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ENFP – “Journalist”. Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.
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Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)
just took a personality test that David Choi -the youtuber- talked about
he said that ENFP and some other one were most likely to be drawn to his personality type.. so he asked his viewers to take it and post what they got… and looks like it’s true.. interesting huh?
lol one of the comments about my personality type was -likely to have or want a tattoo
here are all the characteristics: outgoing, social, disorganized, easily talked into doing silly things, spontaneous, wild and crazy, acts without thinking, good at getting people to have fun, pleasure seeking, irresponsible, physically affectionate, risk taker, thrill seeker, likely to have or want a tattoo, adventurous, unprepared, attention seeking, hyperactive, irrational, loves crowds, rule breaker, prone to losing things, seductive, easily distracted, open, revealing, comfortable in unfamiliar situations, attracted to strange things, non punctual, likes to stand out, likes to try new things, fun seeker, unconventional, energetic, impulsive, empathetic, dangerous, loving, attachment prone, prone to fantasy
likely/favored careers: performer, actor, entertainer, songwriter, musician, filmmaker, comedian, radio broadcaster/dj, some job related to theater/drama, poet, music journalist, work in fashion industry, singer, movie producer, playwright, bartender, comic book author, work in television, dancer, artist, record store owner, model, freelance artist, teacher (art, drama, music), writer, painter, massage therapist, costume designer, choreographer, make up artist
lol wow.. some of these things are pretty dang accurate. esp the careers, i wanna do a lot of them haha
then again, the results were pretty close.. and i go both ways on a lotta stuff [hmm split personality?]
Extroverted (E) 55.26% Introverted (I) 44.74%
Intuitive (N) 57.14% Sensing (S) 42.86%
Feeling (F) 61.76% Thinking (T) 38.24%
Perceiving (P) 55.56% Judging (J) 44.44%
“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil- this is the gift of God.” -Ecclesiastes 3:12-13
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” -Philippians 4:11-13
Rejoice in the Lord, always.
O joyful, joyful, Lord we adore thee. God of glory, Lord of love. Hearts unfold like flowers before thee, opening to the sun above.
Joy. Is different from happiness, huh? :]
We are blessed.
Stay strong in your faith. Don’t give up when you’re in the desert. [Desert Song - all of my life, in every season]
My cousin was in a car accident last night. From what I’ve heard, the car has been smashed pretty badly – the front, the windows, the roof. [Lol he doesn't know I'm writing about him -o and first thing that i got notice of on Friday the 13th - was 1 AM when he called] He thinks it’s amazing that he’s alive – and how relatively undamaged he is, compared to what could’ve happened. He did break a few things, but he’s alive and sitting in my living room
I wonder, will God use this incident to spread his glory in some way? to open up the eyes of a heart? mm I wonder..
Disclaimer – I’m not perfect. haha well obviously. Some of my advice on here or some topics I talk about may make me look like a hypocrite, but follow my advice, not so much my actions. I make mistakes too. But it’s better to share something good, than to not say anything at all right? I can’t promise that I won’t use profanity, or talk about stuff that’s yeah i dunno. I just hope, maybe, something I say that’s good will be able to open up other minds? Sigh, I don’t know. Perhaps I shouldn’t do this? I apologize in advance for any hypocrisy on my part. [lol you can see my thought process of indecisiveness] well, I suppose, sometimes we’re given revelations/think of really good advice, but have trouble following it ourselves. I guess I’ll post those up, hope someone can learn from them and remind myself by looking back at them..? hmm who knows
Happy Valentine’s Day :3
[just a few random Valentines Day videos hehe]+
I’m going to H-mart or Koreatown with a few girlies and hanging with Joyce and dunno what else. Where’s my bf? haha i guess i have Gu Jun Pyo 구준표 [꽃보다 남자 - Boys Before Flowers] xDD and God of course. Jesus can be my Valentine hehe
wow this is a very random post.
started off as thoughts, went into journal, and then some fangirling xD
mm I want one haha
well, I’d like one, very much xD
they’re so cool! as the name suggests, they glow under black lights [like in clubs and such]. so unlike other tattoos, you don’t have to bother to get them removed when you’re old haha. and you don’t have to hide them at work or etc. 
pretty tight, huh?
my cousin told me about them last year… looked up info on them earlier – they’re not ‘dangerous’ as long as you get the right kind. nothing with ‘everglow’ apparently. from what i’ve seen the chameleon brand is good..? i dunno, but you can order the ink online, not crazy crazy expensive either, fairly common
i think i’d like to get a cross or 3 stars or some tribal style thingy.
blah blah blah i should be asleep. haha anyway, night for now
We are called to love others. As Christians, we should care for each other within the church and outside it. That way, we can spread God’s glory. Who would want to learn about a God that is represented by mean people? No one, right? Then you see those people who just can’t seem to hate anyone. Those people who seem so warm and friendly, even if you barely know them at all. You’re naturally intrigued by such people. They make you wonder how they can love like they do.
So, we should accept one another right? yay everything’s good. but it’s not so easy.
you know, there’s that one super awkward person in your class. He’s not so great socially. He talks awkwardly, behaves awkwardly, even walks awkwardly. You categorize him, judge him, and avoid him or make fun of him. Just being with him irritates you. Not so good, eh? :/
then there’s that snobby snob face mean girl[lol]. You don’t want anything to do with her. All she does is cause drama, gossip and slander, and act like a sl-t. She seems so two-faced.
and there’s that punk*ss slacking druggie that gets on your nerves. He’s so dumb it’s ridiculous. Trying to explain anything is annoying. You don’t want anything to do with that pothead, right? drugs are bad. bad bad bad. that kind of guy will never change[don't do them for real]
Harsh, but that’s what goes around in your mind and in your conversations.
We don’t realize that God loves that awkward person just as much as he loves.. mm Daniel Henney[look him up if u don't know him xD]. We judge and label people, not realizing that there’s more to them. Not realizing that they can break out of their sin too. Let’s do our best, okie dokie? haha
*mm.. i wonder if that made sense enough.. was a bit short…I’m super sleepy, nightt
Hello, this is Crystal/Crystallion :]
Just made this while listening to 윤도현, I should be doing homework.. oo well. This blog will probably be a big mix of stuff..some posts may be little things – like what I did, others will probably have me fangirling over something/someone, and some may be thought-provoking.
I think I’ll also post photography/artwork and such. Whee~
o snap, de ja vu! lol anyway. wow this reminds me of xanga. sigh~ haha feels like it was so -back in the day-. Joined 5th grade, last post during freshman year at Wheeler.
ok. i should really do my homework now, or try to
