¹ The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:

² “Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

³ What do people gain from all their labors
at which they toil under the sun?
⁴ Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
⁵ The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
⁶ The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
⁷ All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
⁸ All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
⁹ What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
¹⁰ Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
¹¹ No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them.

Ecclesiastes 1:1-11

despair. vanity.

 ¹Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
“I find no pleasure in them”—
² before the sun and the light
and the moon and the stars grow dark,
and the clouds return after the rain…

Ecclesiastes 12:1-2

¹³ Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
¹⁴ For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

.

“…I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

- John 10:10

¹For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. ²For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, ³if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. ⁴For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

⁶So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, ⁷for we walk by faith, not by sight. ⁸Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. ⁹So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.¹⁰For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

¹¹Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience. ¹² We are not commending ourselves to you again but giving you cause to boast about us, so that you may be able to answer those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart. ¹³For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. ¹⁴For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; ¹⁵and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

¹⁶From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. ¹⁷Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. ¹⁸All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; ¹⁹that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. ²¹For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5

Are we, as sung by John Mayer, posing for pictures that aren’t being taken? I, sure as anything, have been.

Will we spend all our days simply looking forward?

Constantly just – “now, what?”

In the end, what do we have?

Memories?

People, talents, possessions, everything we know will come and go. It matters little what you looked like (you’re not going to look like that for long anyhow), who you dated, how good you were at some sport or instrument

I don’t want to waste my life

God, give me strength. Give us strength. Remind us of your love. Enable us to live.

One thing I know that I have found
Through all the troubles that surround
You are the Rock that never fails, You never fail

One thing I know that I believe
Through every blessing I receive
You are the only One that stays, You always stay

You never change, You’re still the same
You are the Everlasting God
You will remain after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed
Everlasting God
“Everlasting God” – New Life Worship

Just watched 아는 여자 aka Someone Special

It was cute in a somewhat quirky way – clever dialogue but also a fairly meaningful film overall… puts the question of what love is in our short lives in an interesting context.

I liked this song along with others on the OST. [I’m such a sucker for soothing fingerstyle guitar]

enjoy ———>

왜 이런가요 자꾸 가슴이 뛰죠
틀림없이 틀림없이 그대때문인데

내가 못나서 그걸 잘알면서도
놓을수도 없는걸 가슴이 원하죠

한 걸음 다가서면 두 걸음 멀어지는
이런 그대의 마음을 어떡하나요

*정말 나를 사랑 할 수 없나요
그렇게 쉽나요
내 사랑은 아직 숨을 쉬는데

사랑한단말론 부족한가요*
나라는 사람은 없나요

사랑 할 수 있다면 사랑 받진 못해도
괜찮아요..

지금 이 순간 이 노래를 듣나요
언젠가는 들어줄 그대라 믿어요

시간이 지나가면 괜찮을줄 알았죠
하지만 그대없이는 안되잖아요

*repeat
이렇게 잊어야 하나요

잊을수가 없네요 잊지못할 거에요
도저히..

with almost everything these days.. I just feel so stagnant

Like a pond.

It’s pretty, but I’m at that point where everything under the surface is covered with mud and algae and gross stuff.

Am I wasting my time and effort?

but there are so few that I can do.

.

I’ve been feeling like something has been wrong this quarter – like I’ve been doing something wrong.

When I try to figure out what it is, I just can’t seem to put my finger on it.

Maybe I just haven’t been doing anything right.

I’ve been trying to expand my musical taste lately~ got a lottt of Korean Indie music from a friend and stuff from others.

- but I’ll just upload the more romantic, cafe-esque ones

Speaking of which, I think it’d be really cool to own/manage a cafe of my own one day haha. It’s definitely not on my must-do list, but it would be exciting.

I couldn’t decide between the two different 커피를 마시고 versions, so here are both!

I’ve been so busy lately. So tired. This is probably my worst quarter – academically – so far

I wonder if anyone checks this blog haha… feels nice to think so.

It looks like I’ll be home for a lot of this summer I might be going to Japan for missions in August – will probably go to Korea before or after if I do.

I decided to pass on the Ivy Summer Management thing. I could have made a ton of money, but it seemed like a lot of stress [managing, marketing, tutoring, etc.] and I wouldn’t have been able to go to Japan or wherever.

Sigh. Stress. Money.. grades.. activities.. people.

“Friday Night in Boracay” is really soothing – sounds like the kind of song a husband would play for his wife as she fell asleep on their honeymoon <3 [film idea]

I made a new deviantart ID – CrystallionK CLICK HERE

I just put up 3 things but take a look, comment, favorite, or watch if you like

Time to work!

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

It all comes down to love.

We love because he first loved us.

1 John 4:19

You can be the most gifted speaker, praise leader, and such, but if you don’t love – whether it’s God, others, or yourself – it amounts to nothing.

Brothers and sisters, do not be fooled by your own pride or distractions in your daily lives. We are in a most desperate situation.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

John 15:12-13

The last time I was with my best friend, she said she would die for me, and I was shocked. It’s not exactly a topic that comes up often.

How many people could you die for? I’m not just talking about taking a bullet for someone. Would you willingly be tortured in someone else’s stead?

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

It’s hard enough to think of people you love who you would die for, much less strangers or people who have hurt you.

[If you live in Georgia/go to Bethany, talk to Philip Hwang. Jaeson Ma came to Northwestern during Fall Quarter and had a screening of his 1040 movie. I bought it and left it with Philip so he could pass it around to other people. Even if you don’t want to watch the entire film, I recommend that you see the part about the Korean missionaries in Afghanistan.]

Don’t look at the church for a real example of love. Don’t look at me or any other person you know. We will fail you.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:23

It’s only when we’re touched by God’s grace and experience his love that we can really love anyone else.

I am selfish and sinful in innumerable ways, but because of his mercy and what He’s done, I am driven away from sin. I want to love. I want to live a life full of light and truth.

Sin is everything God is not. It is the twisting of truth and every good thing.

Most, if not all, things are not bad in themselves. [example-] Alcohol isn’t bad in itself. It’s how you USE it. Do you depend on it?

I can promise you that no matter how good any single thing seems, no matter how much happiness or pleasure it brings you now – if you become dependent on it, it will ruin you.

We were never meant to depend on things of this world. Like a machine may be built to run on gas, we were made to run on Him. [as strange as that sounds] If you put water in a gas tank, your car will break down. Try building your life on the acceptance of others, on sex, on alcohol, on pot, on sweets, on the accumulation of money. Ultimately, you will be lonely, unable to stand on your own, empty, unhealthy, and broken.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

Christianity is not about following rules. It’s a response and return to our original purpose. We seek him because we see how desperate our situation has become – because we see that He is all that is good.

He loves us -> we love him -> we do all that we can in order to live out His commandments and reveal His truth to this little world that He loves so dearly.

So what are His commandments?

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40

Wow Crystal, God sounds pretty selfish. In a way, you’re right. He is jealous for us. Key word – FOR. It is for OUR sake that He calls after us. He loves you, and He wants you to know Him because that is the only way you will have complete joy.

He doesn’t need us. We are foolish and selfish beings who hurt each other and spit on Him. Life is short, as I’m sure you’ve heard. Why should God – perfect, holy, eternal, indescribable God – care about us?

That’s grace. The Gospel is the greatest love story of all time. We cannot even fathom all of it. And that’s an understatement.

.

Christians, will you lay down your lives for others? Will you surrender everything to God? I mean, really lay down your life. You can tell your friends that you’d die for them, but what do your actions say? Your actions are the expression of your heart. You’ll jump in front of a bullet for your buddy but you won’t take the time to ask or listen to his or her problems? Does your friendship reflect God’s love for you? Do you lift up your friends or family members to God through everything that you do?

Examine your lifestyle. Examine your conversations and what you do in your spare time.

We’ve all heard the phrase “What Would Jesus Do?”

Do you honestly think Jesus would talk that way? Do you really think He wouldn’t reach out to that lonely kid or that pothead or that girl who’s desperate for attention?

Wake up.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16

You are meant to be set apart. If you act and speak the same way as non-Christians, what makes you different? Let your entire life be an example – a representation of what you believe. Let others see you and notice that you are a completely new kind of person. Let them be amazed by the choices you make and how differently you live.

It’s like the example Pastor Sam Pack gave a while back. One night at his church, he went outside and noticed that the moon looked really bright. He just stood there and stared at it. Eventually, other people came out and saw him. They looked to what he was so intently looking at. More people saw them and it became a crowd – just staring at the moon.

That didn’t happen because P Sam is just so cool. We Christians can’t be perfect, but we should take every opportunity to show others what we have our sights set upon and what we live for.

You may be the only example of a person who follows Christ among your friends. What will you do with that position?

Do you think God is proud when you spend your time cursing, judging others, or filling your conversations with crude language?

.

Side note -

If you are not a Christian and a friend of yours has invited you to church or something, know that your friend is doing it because he or she really loves you. It’s not some twisted reason related to doctrines or whatever. Think about it -in the eyes of the world – what does your friend have to gain by you going to church? A lot of times it’s uncomfortable for Christians to ask their friends to churches or Christian events. Most of us are afraid that we’ll be rejected or seen as imposing. It’s a risk that we should all be willing to take.

.

Growing up in the church, there were a couple songs that I didn’t really understand. One was – “I Could Sing of Your Love Forever” and another said that just one day in God’s courts is better than thousands elsewhere. Little Crystal wasn’t sure that it’d be quite so fun to just.. stand and sing about God all the time. She wasn’t sure if she would really prefer one day in His presence over a THOUSAND somewhere else. A thousand is a lot, ya know?

But now, it’s plain to see that a day without Him is a day with absolutely no meaning or light.

I could sing of your love forever? Let’s just say this blog post could go on and on and on and on and on and on.

As Andy Bilhorn said last night, “the longer I’m a Christian, the more my love grows – I’m just floored by Jesus.”

Wow, I could really just keep writing. My thoughts are all over the place. Thank you if you read the entire post. If you’d like to talk about anything related to this post.. [or anything at all haha], let me know and I’d love to chat.

[p.s. - the statements about cursing and etc. were not specifically directed towards or written to condemn anyone]

So much has happened this quarter – weird that it’s almost over, but I can’t wait to go home.

I’ve been extremely busy and didn’t get to hang out with Ji-Hoon, Eric, Hyun, and Abi as much as I did last quarter. On the other hand, I’ve made a lot of new friends and built stronger relationships.

A few things…

Prayer Meetings

We had a prayer meeting for the freshmen in the beginning of the quarter. Kwang mentioned how he misses 새벽기도 [early morning prayer]… and so I said we should do it! Peter agreed. That is how our prayer meetings began. None have been really early like 5am. More like 8am. Around 10 people showed up for the first Saturday meeting which lasted a couple hours. For the past few weeks, it’s just been me and Kwang(occasionally Peter), but it’s all good.

Discipleship

AAIV Women’s group. Cree, Sophia, and I are led by Michelle. God definitely put us together well. We deal with a lot of similar things, and I think we’ve grown quite a bit together considering how little time we’ve had.

Rice To Meet You

This is our AAIV Freshmen project. At the first meeting, I came up with the idea behind it – a coffeehouse/talent show with a point. It’s about showing our passions and talents but more importantly, our purpose behind them. Over time, it was dubbed “Rice To Meet You,” and a ton of people have gotten involved. I’ve been making flyers and the promo video. The video is taking way longer than I expected, and final cut pro won’t export some parts correctly. D:

Winterfest

Intervarsity retreat. Met people from University of Chicago, UIC, and so on. The speaker was really interesting, and overall, it was fun. There were a few different tracks; I was in “Intended to Be” – the women’s track. I didn’t learn very much, but it was a good reminder for a lot of things. I heard awesome things about some of the other tracks though. A good friend of mine accepted Christ!

RTVF 190

Film production class. Freaking stressful. I think the professor had a problem with me in the first week or two because I was an hour late to class ><… but he’s cool now.

Anyway, we were assigned into groups of 3. The 2 dudes I’m paired with are cool, but they aren’t the most enthusiastic pair. We had to make 3 films. First two were individual, the final is due next week from all of us. It’s really really really difficult making these projects when your actors are your friends who also have a lot of work to do.

For my 2nd project, I actually used the script I wrote and really liked last quarter in my screenwriting class. Due to extremely limited time and resources and specific guidelines/rules for the assignment, the short is very different from what I intended. On the other hand, I got really positive feedback from the class and professor when we showed it in class. My role in this final project is writer/director. We’re filming this Friday and Saturday… hopefully it’ll be good.

I should pay attention in class. -____-

It snowed a few days ago, right when I came back from Atlanta, but it didn’t stick.

Tonight, it definitely stuck

It’s past 5AM now, and I’m still in my suite/dorm with some friends. Next week is finals week, but we still decided to go out at around 3AM and played in the snow for about an hour.

It’s even snowing on my blog! I think it only does that during December or something though, haha.

Ever since I was really little, I loved snow and wished there was more in Georgia.

Guess my friends are sleeping over?

I love how we can just spontaneously do whatever in college.

Oh, I had my first final today! Er, yesterday. It was for my film analysis class. Not too horrible, I think.

15 page research paper with 15 sources due Wednesday. Haven’t started writing. Final screenplay due Wednesday. Logic final exam on Wednesday. Flight home – Wednesday.

Let’s do this!

Winter Wonderland~

It’s feels great to be back.

I think college [or living on your own in general] really helps you realize how blessed you are.

Even things like water bottles and paper towels are somewhat hard to get at school. [can't carry much from CVS to the dorm]

Just days ago, I wanted to come home so much. I really like Northwestern, but I was anxious/ready to see everyone, be done with finals/papers, and just be back here.

I ended up buying my tickets two days ago because the flight here and back on Tuesday was reasonably priced. They were actually cheaper than my tickets for winter break.

I was so excited earlier, but for some reason, I feel kinda sad… disappointed?

It’s not that anything’s really wrong. I wasn’t expecting a welcome back party – I only told like 3 people I was coming, so I could surprise more people.

It’s feels strange though. To be back after living months at college… It’s so different.

Almost like they’re two different worlds. The people, the weather [it's mad cold up there right now... and it's only getting colder], the places to go, things to do, etc.

It hasn’t even been 24 hours since I last saw Abi or Simon. It’s only been like.. 2 days since I saw Eric, Rich, Ji-Hoon, Kerri, and everyone. But it seems like it was so long ago.

Driving again was weird too. But fun. I missed it haha.

I was really glad I got to see people at church I think I missed them more than they missed me.

There’s so much I want to say.. so much to talk about and catch up on.

Abi said that out of our group of friends, I probably talk about and skype people back home the most.

I guess I just like to relate things. And I always look back to the past.Maybe that’s the reason for my disappointment.

Before I came, I just kept thinking about all the great times I’ve had, all the fun places and things to do here. I didn’t think about the not-so-great times..

Do I care too much about people? Do I just forget about the harsher memories and remember the good ones more than they do?

Did I just feel forgotten? No, they didn’t forget me. Did I just think about them more than they thought about me? Probably…

I think that’s one of the harder parts about going to school far away. I worried about this a lot before I left. You live in a completely new and different place, while most people are still back home or close to home. They can still relate to each other, tell stories about their mutual friends, and come home often.

Out of sight, out of mind, huh?

In any case, I’m really glad I’m here! And I better get some sleep.

I’ll hopefully get the Canon T2i tomorrow. I’ve had the Nikon D40, my brother’s old camera for a long time now, and I meant to get a new camera or guitar for my birthday. After reading some reviews, Canon’s video recording quality seems to beat Nikon’s by quite a bit.

Skip to around 1:20 for prettiness~